Thursday, September 27, 2018

Celebrating another year of love

After sharing a personal story, I got several private messages from you sharing your own personal stories as well. Some of you have gone through the same process, some are currently dealing with tough times. In today's world, sharing personal matters publicly is terrifying. I didn't know what to expect but after reading your messages, I felt relieved. Someone said she found hope and confidence in my story. She hopes to have the courage to move on and find happiness later in life. You don't even know how much those words mean to me. My husband and I are celebrating 9 years of marriage today. Sadly, he's out of town on another business trip but we'll celebrate this weekend. I thought I'd share 9 things I've learned after my divorce. Outfit details: Target floral rompers *love - size XS* | Le Specs sunglasses | Cartier bracelet | Michele watch | Hermes belt

1. Do not settle - Growing up, I had a pretty good idea of what I wanted in a partner. I got married when I was 23. I met someone who has a stable career, seemed to look out for my best interested, I settled. I wished I had waited a bit longer before making a life-long commitment.

2. Nothing is forever - When you marry someone, of course it's natural to think that you'll be with that person for the rest of your life. The truth is, that's not always the case. People change and the love you have for each other also changes many times over the course of a lifetime. If the connection isn't strong enough between 2 people, things will start to fall apart. Loving someone isn't enough to make a successful marriage.

3. Be independent - Life doesn't stop just because you're going through a divorce. As mentioned previously, I became more independent throughout the whole ordeal. In general, it's good to be independent. Don't depend on someone to make you happy. Do what makes you feel fulfilled, to feel purposeful and to feel like your life has purpose beyond being a wife and a mother.

4. Trust your gut - I am going to tell you a funny story. When I was dating the guy, he called me everyday on his way home from work. I noted down things on a piece of paper that I'd say to him so that I won't stuck in awkward moments during the call. I wanted to be able to hold a conversation. Looking back now, it was so stupid. If I wasn't able to communicate naturally with this person while dating, I don't know why I thought I'd be able to spend the rest of my life with him. It should have been a red flag but I chose to ignore it. Trust your gut and be honest to yourself.
5. You'll learn who your true friends are - You may never know who your true friends are until you're going through tough times. I experienced both. People who I thought were true friends turned out to be the biggest joke. People who were casual friends turned out to be my biggest supporters.One of my favorite quotes - "You wanna know who your true friends are? Screw up and see who's still there"

6. You'll have a chance to do it again - We're human and we make mistakes. Those mistakes you make along the way will help you get to where you want to go. Give happiness another chance. You never know how perfect something might turn out to be

7. The only thing that matters is your own happiness - I'll be damned if I live the next 40 years of my life unhappy. No one is in charge of your own happiness (not your parents, not your kids, no one but you). Do what make you happy, live a life filled with happiness and purpose.
8. Time will heal everything - It may take months or even years to fully recover and heal but trust me, time will heal everything. It's important to let it go, leave the past behind and move forward.

9. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for - Life is hard. Sometimes, being strong isn't a choice, it's the only option. You'll get through anything you put your mind to.

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