Monday, May 10, 2021

A wonderful Mother's Day

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{Courtney drew me this card}
Wishing all of the mothers out there a very happy belated Mother's Day! You all are rock stars! I had an incredible day with my family and friends. My heart is so full. This pandemic has brought us closer together. In honor of Mother's Day, I wanted to share something a little personal. When I was going through the divorce, a "friend" has said to me that I was being selfish and putting my happiness ahead of my daughter's. She said my daughter would be happier to have one whole family instead of 2 half-families (her words not mine). To be completely honest with you, reading these words 12 years later still makes my blood boil. Going through a separation or divorce can be very scary, painful and filled with contradictory emotions no matter the reason for it. You never know what goes on behind closed doors. Don't criticize someone until you've walked in their shoes and it's certainly not the place to voice your opinion about someone else’s divorce. All that is to say, after reading those words, I made a promise to myself that Courtney will always be my first priority. I'll put her ahead of my future children and my future husband. I will raise my children to stand up for themselves, to go after what they believe in and certainly would not rely on validation from others in order to live a fulfilled and meaningful life. I vow to build a strong relationship with my children. As long as they come to me when things get tough, everything will be alright.
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{Can we talk about Courtney's handwritting?}
On Mother's Day, Madelyn and Courtney gave me their cards. I burst into tears reading what they wrote. Words cannot describe how happy I am that they value our relationships. I set a reminder on my phone to call Courtney at 7:00 p.m. since 2010 (we have joint custody). Some days, I got a hold of her. Some days, I didn't (I used to call her Dad's phone). Not all conversations were meaningful. There is only so much you can say to a 5 year old. However, I continued to call her Dad's phone every single day for 7 years when she wasn't with me. I wanted to form a habit. The habit of feeling comfortable talking to me at a young age. She might not have anything meaningful to say everyday but when she does have something on her mind, she would feel comfortable sharing it with me. I got her a phone when she was 12. Even though, I no longer have to call her Dad's phone, the reminder still sets on my phone (yes, it goes off everyday at 7:00 p.m.). I have a million things to do everyday but at the end of the day, I always spend the last hour before bed time talking to my kids individually. It has certainly paid off. The girls are so comfortable talking to us about everything and anything. Building a strong relationship with my children is so crucial (especially when they become teenagers). Nothing makes me happier than seeing our bond is getting stronger everyday. We started college planning and I will always be by her side every step of the way until she becomes an anesthesiologist. My husband is a child of divorce and he turned out to be the most loving father who has a successful career. Moral of the story - Divorce is hard for everyone (especially kids). However, their well-being does not rest solely on the institution of marriage. Their happiness is based on the quality of the relationship the children have with each parent.
{My charcuterie board is here}
For Mother's Day, we hosted a "Make your own Bánh Mì" get together with our dear friends. It's been over a year since I've seen some of them. I believe the last time we saw everyone was at our 10-year wedding anniversary. Everyone in our circle of friend has been fully vaccinated so we feel comfortable having people over. We had so much fun. I put together a Bánh Mì charcuterie board and I love how it turned out. I made everything myself from the pâté to various meat options. The girls got a small gift for me for Mother's Day. I'll show you in a later post. I often ask myself if I am doing enough for my kids. Thankfully, they always make sure I feel loved and appreciated. I said it before and I will say it over and over again, I am so grateful for my family.MothersDay2021_SydneysFashionDiary (5)


Jessica said...

Happy Mother's Day! Such heartwarming letters from your daughters :')

Sydney's Fashion Diary said...

Thank you, Jessica =)